My whole life, Math has made me anxious. It was not only my hardest subject, but at times, it felt like my worst enemy. In elementary school and middle school, I managed to obtain decent final grades in Math class because of my extremely consistent work habits and nightly homework help from my mom. However, as I got older, at times there was only so much my mom could do to help.
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I was not diagnosed with NVLD until my mid-thirties. My tragedies and mistakes are many and I couldn’t pick one to share with you today. Rather, I will share with you snapshots of my experiences as said to me and about me throughout my life.
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Growing up with NVLD can make summer vacation a real concern for many families due to academic and social weaknesses. In many cases, especially if both parents are working, the child can be lonely as without parental encouragement it makes going to summer activities so hard. One of the options that can make summer more enjoyable is to have your child attended a residential summer program for students with Learning Disabilities as these programs promote academic, personal, and social growth.
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I’ve had a strong vocabulary since the age of five. A majority of my childhood was spent writing extensive creative stories with words straight out of a thesaurus. However, if you asked me a math equation I’d look at you blankly and wouldn’t know the answer. Ask me to put together a puzzle, and I wouldn’t be able to comprehend how the pieces connect.
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Having NVLD can make it difficult to understand social and communication clues, which can make forming relationships an obstacle. Two examples of when I experienced these challenges were meeting Dick Christy, my school counselor, and in 8th grade, hanging out with the “wrong crowd.” I just couldn’t pick up on the clues from Mr. Christy that he truly wanted to help me and ‘my friends” were only making fun of my NVLD.
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It all started when I was going to the fifth grade. I transferred to another school for a special education class. I always got bullied for being in special ed up until high school, I didn’t get bullied much. My parents never did anything to stop the bullying. The bullying caused me to become a mean girl because I felt that I had to protect myself from any harm. To this very day, I hate it when people treat me like I’m “stupid, slow”.
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Every so often in my life you join something that is extremely difficult however in the end you are so happy you made the decision to stay with it. I experienced this being the only varsity girl during my first year of cross-country and am grateful for all the personal connections and personal growth I made. Throughout all the challenges each of them turned into a tremendous positive with the help and support I received from my coach Jim Adams, and the members of the Canton cross country team. I was able to see that my disability wasn’t a detriment and realized people respected me for who I am.
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Growing up with NVLD can make it extremely difficult to find your interest, as so many things are such a struggle. What many people forget is you can also find your interest in a non-traditional way such as being a fan rather being a participant. Sports are a great example of that. I know when I started sports it was clear it was going to be such a struggle. However, I loved being part of sports teams as I was able to become a fan and enjoy the daily social interactions. This led me to attend and watch multiple professional and college games over the years. It was a big reason why I was able to stay a three-season runner, as I knew how special it was to be part of a team. I was also able to understand my role was to be the strong supporter rather being the one who brings the points.
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Being told you have NVLD often brings many concerns for your family, as you fear the worst. One of the ways these fears can be minimized is to connect with a family who also has a child with a disability. It may be from a personal connection or joining a support group. It doesn’t need to be NVLD, as each disability, while different, is also very similar as each disability brings daily challenges.
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Dating with NVLD (and its comorbidities) has been difficult for me. I’ve had many failed relationships, and though I’ve had these failures, I still believe someone is out there for me. This is a letter to my future partner about me and my NVLD and how I should be treated.
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