I was diagnosed with NVLD at the age of five. My parents noticed a delay when I was extremely speech delayed in speech and when I got to kindergarten, it was evident that something was awry. My kindergarten teacher noted that when everyone was cleaning up after free play, I would just keep on playing and I was extremely oblivious to all my surroundings. My parents then took me in for educational testing and it was then determined that I have NVLD. I was on an IEP until 7th grade when I switched from public to private school. I was consistently bullied for being a “SPED kid” and so my parents moved me to a private school.
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“Keep close to Nature’s heart… and break clear away, once in a while, and climb a mountain or
spend a week in the woods. Wash your spirit clean.”
-John Muir
Author, outdoorsman, and environmental philosopher John Muir is one of my heroes. In particular, this quote of his embodies how I seek to live my life.
My whole life, I have always found comfort in nature. I travel to rural environments every chance I get. Many people who know me know that I climb trees for fun! Ultimately, I don’t know where I would be without the comfort of the natural world.
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Again, the issue of suicide has popped up again on the media radar. Both Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain have managed to bring it to everyone’s plate and now we get to watch as social media spins out its version of “thoughts and prayers” in the form of “reach out.” Don’t get me wrong, it’s good advice. Completely useless to someone who is currently flirting with killing themselves, but good advice. What happens, though when you add Nonverbal Learning Disorder to the mix? Are we NLD Superheroes more susceptible to suicide as someone once suggested to me? To be honest, I don’t know. All I can talk about is my own experience with suicide and suicidal ideation.
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Throughout my life, I have a done a lot of things that were extremely difficult, though the one that had the most impact on me was running cross-country. The reason being, it was the first time in years that the adult in charge really understood me. Jim Adams, who was my coach, like my parents, raised exceptional children on both sides of the spectrum, so he had a deep understanding of the obstacles I faced on a daily basis and was able to see I had a number of strengths too. Honestly there was never a guarantee that I was going to be able to finish the race due to all the challenges I faced having NVLD, however, he always gave me the same advice, which was to not focus on how far away the other runners were, just to focus on doing my best, as that is the only thing that matters. I knew if a challenge occurred there was hope that the next run would go my way because he always offered such great advice and knew me so well personally. I wished things were different for me but he made sure I was staying true to myself and never gave up.
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Getting a job is one of the most exciting things that can happen to anyone but finding the ideal job especially when you have a learning disability such as NLD can sometimes seem daunting. Through my personal experience I have found that it has been difficult to find work that suits my abilities and meets my employment needs. Hopefully the advice I have found can help you find a job with colleagues and leaders who understand your little quirks and will take the time to help you work through any difficult situations you may encounter.
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I remember starting school having no idea what was different about me along with being highly confused by the different services I received, as my friends were not going with me. As each elementary year passed, I started to have an idea about what was different about me. Later on things started to become even more confusing as social and academic demands were much higher. Socially, like all teenagers, my friends started to change, though with my disability I could not understand the rules of the game of adolescence. By that point, visual learning took place so it was clear I was starting to fall through the cracks. It seemed every day a teacher became frustrated with me though I was just overwhelmed and fatigued.
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This post is a follow-up to Katie’s first blog post.
As I come back to read these words one year later, I’m very glad to say that some elements have changed. I noticed changes even at the time it was posted, as the words were written before that, (and included a reflection that I’d worded even further before that), so no instantaneous, quick-fix solutions to report. But it’s true that time, patience and more awareness on my part, has eased how harshly NVLD seemed to limit my ability to function. A lot of the foundational struggles remain a constant. The main one being that I seem unable to focus and organize how, and when I want to. Though, as I read those words on avoiding what I love, and being unable to pursue what I am passionate about, I realize that these days, I try my hardest to do the opposite. I attempt to fill my time with people and community based projects that allow me to exist with a bit less fear.
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Few scientists have the opportunity to study their own disorder, however, that is exactly what I’m doing at the University of Southern California. I recently proposed a journal article on this diamond in the rough disability to provide intuitive cognitive models in tough spatial scenarios for NVLD individuals. Furthermore, I hope this will also reduce anxiety for NVLD test takers. Since NVLD is a small, under-diagnosed community with very few speaking on it’s behalf, I’ll give a snippet of what it’s like to live with it….
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I was diagnosed with NVLD at age 22.
At the time, I had switched programs at college – having just failed my studies in animation, where difficulties with certain aspects of the program became a final prompt to have me checked out for a possible learning disorder.
I was relieved, finally knowing what had caused so many grievances in my life both academically and non-academically; however, the timing of the news was a mixed blessing.
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Let’s start at the very beginning… a very good place to start.
So what is a learning disability? If you Google it, you will be linked to many definitions. The easiest way I know how to sum it up is an invisible disability that encompasses social, emotional, physical and fine motor challenges.
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