You may not believe this, but at 57, just last night, I was able to see how socially different I have been throughout my life than all those around me. How awkward, of course, but far different than that; the only way I can explain it is to say that it felt like I have lived inside an invisible can throughout my life, and its walls separate me from everyone else. There was no way to bridge that gap. The first day of kindergarten I just stood and wailed, alone, as the rest of the class walked single-file to a room down a long hall. At the start of 2nd grade we moved. I would stand alone in the school yard, trying to disappear, and became non-caring inside my can. I cared for others, and wanted to connect, and felt awkward interiorally, but another part of me let go of the thought of being an outsider and caring what others thought, and just sank deeper down inside my aloneness, within my own world. It was as though my interior world became more far more real than the outside world. Years later my mother would say that I “lived on Saturn.” Read More