Yes, adults have learning disabilities, too. We don’t outgrow them, we grow into them. I’m not sure who once said that to me but it turned my life around. I was panicked and worried that I could not organize my mind or find the discipline to work at a high-level job. That was so not true. All I needed was support from the people around me and from my colleagues. I now know that one in five adults has a learning disability or mental health diagnosis—probably more than that because people do not disclose their labels.
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Moving to a town, have a new class, is a friend ignoring you, or something came out of nowhere? Anything new is inevitable meaning it’s bound to happen, but don’t be afraid of change. For those with NVLD, it’s time to get used to the unusual. We rely on routines, but I wouldn’t be who I am if I carried on with those routines. A new town can mean a new journey. A new class could become a new hobby. A new friend is better than one who is distant or using you. Something out of nowhere, good or bad, can teach you a lot.
- Be open to new opportunities and experiences, even if it feels weird, at first. Don’t let the unknown keep you from seeing what’s out there.
- Ask questions! Don’t get the answer right away? Ask more questions! It can be scary to say that you don’t understand, only someone will always be there to help you understand. If not at that moment, later in the day or in life. In middle school and high school, if I didn’t understand a question on an exam, I walked up to my teacher and asked if they could explain it a different way. Like all humans, not all teachers are willing to give another example or explain in a different way. Mostly because they want you to try and answer it the best way you can. If you can’t? That’s okay. It’s in our human nature to forget and move on. Disregard anybody who won’t give the answer that gives you satisfaction. It’s not worth the time and you will laugh about it later. I have.
- It is common knowledge that those with NVLD can get lost. Our visual-spatial awareness can make us feel turned around. Always—always be safe when you go anywhere. GPS is our friend, though don’t be afraid to take risks and go the road less travel. If something like driving scares you, practice! It doesn’t make you perfect, just better!
- It might be also common knowledge that those who have Non-Verbal Learning Disability can be more naïve and gullible. Here is what I can tell you: Speech and Occupational therapy help with understanding social cues and I cannot rave about it enough! I owe a huge thank you to whoever was my occupational therapist. During late elementary school through early middle school, I vividly remember her asking me, what I saw, how they felt, why this expression was separate from that expression—it helped grasp a lot with social cues. Then, came my speech therapist in high school. I began telling her about certain situations between my friends and me. Moments that confused me or where awkward, where she helped me see what went wrong and what I can say and do next time something similar happened. Speech and Occupational therapy are important for any age. Once you learn a lot of nonverbal cues, interactions and socializing get easier.
- Say, “I have Non-Verbal Learning Disability,” when you need to say it. Say it when you are comfortable enough to reveal it. You will find a lot of people will not know what it is, but it’s so much better to let them know what you have rather than the awkwardness that might besmirch a great conversation. Also, if their reaction is not a positive one, don’t let their ignorance ruin you day. I was 25-years-old and refused service at a liquor store because a manager thought I was drunk when I was just being loud in the isles with my friends. I looked him straight in the face, telling him, “I have Non-Verbal Learning Disability, which makes me struggle to understand tone of voice…” I offered to walk in a straight line or do anything to prove I wasn’t drunk. He wouldn’t budge and my friends asked if they could buy my alcohol for me. He allowed it and I dwelled over what happened. I was mad at myself that I let one of my symptoms take over. All before my friend said, “You were louder in the restaurant we went to than in the store and we didn’t get kicked out of the restaurant. Don’t feel bad about it. Honestly, the manager was probably having a bad day and took it out on you.” One thing I have learned is that nobody comes into this world understanding it. Who knows that manager looked up Non-Verbal Learning Disability after I left and saw I was telling the truth? Don’t let a situation like mine ever bring you down. Rise above! Speak up!
Olivia
Olivia is a Project Social Ambassador from Illinois. She is a singer songwriter who was unaware of her NVLD for many years while growing up. She describes herself as an outgoing, ambitious, advernturous person who never gives up in a world of uncertainty.
Share your own storyOne of the common misconceptions for those with a disability like an NVLD is that they can’t travel or enjoy special events such as Broadway shows. This is because they can struggle with over stimulation and furthermore doing these things can bring changes to their normal routines which can cause stress. The truth is, just like the academic and social challenges, there are ways to overcome these challenges which requires self developed practice and patience that both you and your family to put into practice.
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Sweaty hands, a racing heartbeat, a churning stomach and so many “what if’s” running through my mind. These were some of my thoughts and feelings when I decided to pick a college five hours away and move away from my parents for the first time in my life. I was 18 when I began college, and I decided to live in a dormitory. I selected a school away from everybody and everything I knew because I wanted to experience something new and exciting. I wanted a “new beginning” if you will, a new experience. I grew up in a small country town, and stepping into a city for the first time without my family by my side was nerve wracking. My family was very encouraging with my decision, and I’m thankful that I chose to leave for college.
Here are some tips I would like to share with other NVLDer’s who might also be moving for the first time:
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My entire life was impacted by something that I couldn’t explain to anyone because nobody knew what it was. In those days, children like me were set aside and considered lazy and unmotivated. Punishment came from both school and at home, as if that were going to make a difference to me. I was lost, sad, felt abandoned and not worthy of love or kindness. My middle school years were perhaps the most traumatic years of my life. I had no support from my family, actually I was bullied by older sibling at the encouragement of my father.
I’ve been on a lifelong journey to discover what made me different. Not knowing, yet knowing that something wasn’t right. I’ve been from neurologist to therapist to psychiatrist and back again. I received a diagnosis of ADHD and thought that might be that, it wasn’t. Thankfully I had neurological testing and that is when it was revealed that my particular issues were not ADHD but in fact NVLD. I was surprised to find out that what was wrong isn’t even listed in the DSM-5.
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Growing up, my parents never kept me from being involved in the community and at school as they were strong believers that inclusion needs to occur in all settings. Through this experience I had a great group of peer and adult support and was never a target for bullying. Yet it still brought challenges as on occasion as the resource room teachers didn’t quite understand why I was getting the extra attention from peers and teachers.
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I am 27 years old from NYC with NVLD. My childhood/adulthood was very rough. By the time I was 18, I went to 5 different schools. The bullying because of what I had was tremendous. The one thing that kept me sane and gave me a sense of escape was music. Through music I was able to perform in front of my peers and write my true feelings. I also was able to make friends and played in several bands and then ventured into the production chair. However, sadly my mom did not make me feel accepted as a person who has NVLD.
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One of the hardest things about overcoming an NVLD is that you have significant weaknesses and unique strengths so you need to figure out how to manage the two. Due to this you should remember when making some decisions about your IEP it is okay to say no at times. While having too many services and taking less challenging courses may seem beneficial, it can do more harm than good. Since it can negatively impact your self-esteem as you are reminded of your disability too much and you can feel you can’t achieve as much as your peers.
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