Growing up, a common question I heard from the adults around me was “Why are you a runner?” Followed by, “Isn’t it painful to get last every time?” I truly made no sense to them, they wondered why I would put in all the extra work for very poor results. To be fair, there were times that I agreed with them, however, at the end of each day I never gave up. Yes it’s true that sometimes I failed, though ultimately I never let it prevent me from doing my best.
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“I shouldn’t touch you too much, otherwise people might think we’re together.” I overheard somebody say that and reminded me that I have absolutely NO IDEA what it specifically means when people touch me. (Side note: is it supposed to mean anything or am I just overthinking it?) Anyways, it’s kind of an odd thing to say because people need physical contact to feel connected to each other, so why shouldn’t you touch me? Doesn’t it mean that you’ve achieved a level of comfortability around me? Isn’t that supposed to be a good thing? (Is there something you’re trying to tell me without actually saying anything?)
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I am a 68-year-old who was diagnosed with NLD at the age of 49. The diagnosis mostly was a relief to me as it gave a coherence to a matrix of life-time cognitive, physical and social challenges. These challenges, when balanced against a desire to achieve richer social relationships and greater career accomplishments, made for a life-time struggle with self-esteem. Only recently, have I fully realized that I have achieved quite a lot in life despite my NLD disability.
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Turning sixteen is an important milestone for most teenagers. However, when you’re a teenager with a Non-verbal learning disability, the excitement becomes a shameful embarrassment. As soon as I turned sixteen, my parents were quick to enroll me into driver’s education. I mean, that’s what most teenagers are expected to do right ? Initially, I was excited as maybe this would finally be my chance to “be like the rest of my friends.” The fireworks and excitement quickly drifted away after my first in-car lesson.
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My name is Mathew. I was diagnosed with NVLD around second or third grade. I have always struggled with math, getting lost, athletics to a degree and also maintaining organization. This disorder has impacted me in my initial chosen careers, and also in my academic life both at the High School and Collegiate level as well.
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One of the first deficits that someone with NVLD faces is in the area of social skills. It becomes noticeable as your child starts school and may be even more noticeable as each year passes. It isn’t unusual for a student with a NVLD to need help joining a group, to make friends, or just be part of the discussion.
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My entire childhood involved psychoeducational assessments, professionals, special education and tutors. At an early age, I began to recognize the weight of “indifference.” Labels and words started to stick to me, and special education paved my faith. Disability started to shape every aspect of my life. Interactions between teachers and other neurotypical peers were foreign and felt forced. I was continually an outsider looking into a world that wasn’t designed for people like me.
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The other day somebody close to me told me that they didn’t think I had a learning disability. After I got over how stunned I was hearing that, I thought about it and I actually kind of understood where they were coming from. Most people wouldn’t know that I have a learning disability because I don’t want them to see it. I’m trying my best to not stand out or draw attention to myself because if you were really paying attention then you’d see how hard it is for me and I’d rather just stay invisible. Sometimes, despite my best efforts, it feels like my struggle is very much out in the open for everyone to see, even though you don’t know what you’re watching. Read More
The hardest part about having an invisible disability is connecting with someone. Usually they don’t have the patience or understanding to get to know you. It doesn’t happen for everyone, but I was fortunate enough not only to find someone who not only accepted me as a person but also embraced me as a spouse.
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I am writing you in the hope that I can make a difference for you as you live your life through your school years. You see I was like you in so many ways when I was in school. I faced all the same challenges in and out of the classroom you are likely going through and today I am proud to say I am a young adult who overcame them. How did I do this you ask? I never gave up and neither should you.
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