Growing up with a NVLD is hard for anyone, however, being the only person in your family who needs interventions can be both a blessing and a curse. Understandingly, this is frustrating as you may ask yourself why are things different for me and not my siblings? The truth is that this situation can actually be one that you will appreciate as you get older.
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A few months ago, I was sitting at a local coffee shop with my friend when I made a self-deprecating joke about my disability- something along the lines of: “Yeah, but people like me weren’t meant to do stuff like that… because of, you know, being disabled,” I paused for dramatic effect. For me, this was a typical joke, and all in good jest. I didn’t think anything of it.
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One of the largest barriers associated with having NVLD is employment. I’ve been fortunate enough to of had several employment experiences alongside neurotypicals. These various experiences have negatively reinforced ableism and the isolating experiences that individuals with invisible disabilities such as myself face on a daily basis. Asking for verification, taking longer to process information and doing tasks a little bit differently should never determine my worth.
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Having a Nonverbal Learning Disability affects a person’s motor, social, and academic skills. In a sense, the term is very misleading as typically we associate Learning Disabilities to just learning challenges. While learning difficulties are hard to cope with they typically don’t bring emotional challenges that those with NVLD face. Anxiety is often one of the biggest emotional challenges for those with NVLD.
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It is 1am on a Saturday night, I can’t sleep and I have re-runs of The Office playing in the background to help ease the crisp silence of my dark room and dull the chatter in my mind.
As I sit here writing this post, I am hours into sobering up from what I finally started calling my “meltdowns.”
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Hi!! Everyone, my name is Benjamin. I live in Washington State. I just recently heard about NLVD, and when my wife brought it to my attention and I read about it. I almost wanted to break down. I am 38 and have spent most of my adult life, in service to our country. I joined the military at the age of 17. I started out as a Marine Reservist, so I could go to college because it was super important to my parents, and I didn’t wanna let them down. The problem was that I always had struggled in school.
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Its 1 AM and I just found out that my ex unfriended me. For nearly six years I was romantically involved with someone who saw me in a way I had trouble seeing myself. I was able to be myself around this person and I hardly ever had a melt down around them. *But when he wasn’t around boy did, he hear about it* Patience was not necessarily his strong suit, and neither is mine. But when it came to us as a “we.” We waited too long. We dated for 3 years the last 3 we were cuddle buddies/friends who sometimes go on dates. He was my best friend. He knew things about me I would never in a million years tell anyone else, not even my dog.
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One of the more common weaknesses of an NVLD is having a slow processing speed which lowers your place to take in information, make sense of it and begin to respond. It affects your auditory motor, and visual skills which unfortunately results in needing to take extra time to complete tasks in school and in daily life. Being organized is also very difficult.
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Throughout my childhood, Non Verbal Learning Disability (hereafter abbreviated to NVLD) masked my potential inside and outside of the classroom. I was diagnosed nearly a year ago, just after my 23rd birthday. But the signs have been there for as long as I can remember. I started reading around my 2nd birthday- the same time I started walking. I can’t ride a bike (much to the chagrin of several occupational therapists). I’ve always been extroverted but I struggle making and maintaining friends. Using scissors, driving across my city, opening a cabinet, tying my shoelaces, walking on the treadmill, multitasking as I talk with on the phone: these are all experiences that I find to be extremely frustrating and even stressful. New places, planning lessons, or novel experiences that should be fun lead me to break out in an anxious sweat. And math? I still struggle with basic multiplication. I mix up numbers frequently. I miscount ALL of the time. It’s like the part of my brain that’s supposed to do “math things” just simply does not exist. Every test I have taken has placed me in the lowest percentile possible. Yet I’m stuck in a world where 95% of the people around me is conversing in a language that I was never programmed to take part in. Unable to catch up with my peers, I floundered for years.
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Summer 2004.
I was ten years old when I picked up a guitar for the first time. I named her Gloria. I started taking lessons months later, in fifth grade.
I wasn’t diagnosed with NVLD until I was 14. But back then, it was known that I had some struggles with my fine motor skills. After practicing guitar though, transitioning between chords soon became effortless.
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