The other day somebody close to me told me that they didn’t think I had a learning disability. After I got over how stunned I was hearing that, I thought about it and I actually kind of understood where they were coming from. Most people wouldn’t know that I have a learning disability because I don’t want them to see it. I’m trying my best to not stand out or draw attention to myself because if you were really paying attention then you’d see how hard it is for me and I’d rather just stay invisible. Sometimes, despite my best efforts, it feels like my struggle is very much out in the open for everyone to see, even though you don’t know what you’re watching.
I bump into things more than the average person and sometimes get scraped up or bruised and most people just think I’m just getting in too much of a hurry or being clumsy. I stop short or sometimes go too far because I misjudged how much room I had and then people get mad at me because they’re in a hurry, but I had to slow down to judge the space and distance. I struggle to keep the car between the lines because it rained, and everything is blurry, and I can’t determine if I’m over far enough in my lane anymore- maybe I could follow you? (No officer, I haven’t been drinking this evening, I’m just trying not to get too close to that car next to me.) Sometimes I struggle to get my gloves on my hands because despite my best effort, my fingers just don’t want to cooperate. Most of the time I like to go without them because of that struggle. Some days I’m amazed I can tie my own shoes because it can be a BIG challenge to tie a bag of garbage. People used to say I walk funny, so I started walking faster- they won’t talk about me so much when they’re eating my dust. I have THE WORST form when it comes to bowling- the first game is always my “warm up”- or playing pool, and it’s almost a miracle if I catch the football you threw to me- I guess it’s a good thing I always wanted to be the quarterback. I used to not like to dress up very much because button down shirts can be a struggle, especially when I have to try to do my own sleeves. It can be a real challenge to coordinate my arms and legs at the same time, so it was obviously a good decision to want to learn how to play the drums, right? I can’t really keep a beat and when the music starts, soon you’ll see that I have absolutely no rhythm on the dance floor either- all knees and elbows. I’d keep going with all of these examples, but as I said before, I’d like to stay invisible and just blend in with the crowd.
I have no idea what to write here most of the time. I have two brothers and two sisters and as I said before, I won employee of the month earlier this year. The Pottermore quiz told me I was a Hufflepuff.