Hi, my brother Robert has lived with NVLD all his life, he is now 65 years old. However, he was only diagnosed around 15 years ago and by that time it was almost too late to help him with his troubles at work, his social interactions and anxiety, just to name a few. He has little self awareness of his condition which doesn’t help. I remember as a child, my mother used to take him to be tested for dyslexia and to psychiatrists who could couldn’t pinpoint his problem. He is now retired and lives on his own near me.
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One of the reasons why inclusion in sports is so rare is that sports are a privilege, not a right like education is. As a result, inclusion isn’t a common practice for those with NVLD as it requires a lot of resources and effort from the support staff and coaches for something that isn’t a requirement. However, I believe that parents, resource room teachers, counselors, and coaches need to become more open to encouraging those with an NVLD or similar disability to join the appropriate sports team so that more students can enjoy the privilege and reap the benefits of being part of a team too.
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Yes, adults have learning disabilities, too. We don’t outgrow them, we grow into them. I’m not sure who once said that to me but it turned my life around. I was panicked and worried that I could not organize my mind or find the discipline to work at a high-level job. That was so not true. All I needed was support from the people around me and from my colleagues. I now know that one in five adults has a learning disability or mental health diagnosis—probably more than that because people do not disclose their labels.
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Moving to a town, have a new class, is a friend ignoring you, or something came out of nowhere? Anything new is inevitable meaning it’s bound to happen, but don’t be afraid of change. For those with NVLD, it’s time to get used to the unusual. We rely on routines, but I wouldn’t be who I am if I carried on with those routines. A new town can mean a new journey. A new class could become a new hobby. A new friend is better than one who is distant or using you. Something out of nowhere, good or bad, can teach you a lot.
- Be open to new opportunities and experiences, even if it feels weird, at first. Don’t let the unknown keep you from seeing what’s out there.
- Ask questions! Don’t get the answer right away? Ask more questions! It can be scary to say that you don’t understand, only someone will always be there to help you understand. If not at that moment, later in the day or in life. In middle school and high school, if I didn’t understand a question on an exam, I walked up to my teacher and asked if they could explain it a different way. Like all humans, not all teachers are willing to give another example or explain in a different way. Mostly because they want you to try and answer it the best way you can. If you can’t? That’s okay. It’s in our human nature to forget and move on. Disregard anybody who won’t give the answer that gives you satisfaction. It’s not worth the time and you will laugh about it later. I have.
- It is common knowledge that those with NVLD can get lost. Our visual-spatial awareness can make us feel turned around. Always—always be safe when you go anywhere. GPS is our friend, though don’t be afraid to take risks and go the road less travel. If something like driving scares you, practice! It doesn’t make you perfect, just better!
- It might be also common knowledge that those who have Non-Verbal Learning Disability can be more naïve and gullible. Here is what I can tell you: Speech and Occupational therapy help with understanding social cues and I cannot rave about it enough! I owe a huge thank you to whoever was my occupational therapist. During late elementary school through early middle school, I vividly remember her asking me, what I saw, how they felt, why this expression was separate from that expression—it helped grasp a lot with social cues. Then, came my speech therapist in high school. I began telling her about certain situations between my friends and me. Moments that confused me or where awkward, where she helped me see what went wrong and what I can say and do next time something similar happened. Speech and Occupational therapy are important for any age. Once you learn a lot of nonverbal cues, interactions and socializing get easier.
- Say, “I have Non-Verbal Learning Disability,” when you need to say it. Say it when you are comfortable enough to reveal it. You will find a lot of people will not know what it is, but it’s so much better to let them know what you have rather than the awkwardness that might besmirch a great conversation. Also, if their reaction is not a positive one, don’t let their ignorance ruin you day. I was 25-years-old and refused service at a liquor store because a manager thought I was drunk when I was just being loud in the isles with my friends. I looked him straight in the face, telling him, “I have Non-Verbal Learning Disability, which makes me struggle to understand tone of voice…” I offered to walk in a straight line or do anything to prove I wasn’t drunk. He wouldn’t budge and my friends asked if they could buy my alcohol for me. He allowed it and I dwelled over what happened. I was mad at myself that I let one of my symptoms take over. All before my friend said, “You were louder in the restaurant we went to than in the store and we didn’t get kicked out of the restaurant. Don’t feel bad about it. Honestly, the manager was probably having a bad day and took it out on you.” One thing I have learned is that nobody comes into this world understanding it. Who knows that manager looked up Non-Verbal Learning Disability after I left and saw I was telling the truth? Don’t let a situation like mine ever bring you down. Rise above! Speak up!
Olivia
Olivia is a Project Social Ambassador from Illinois. She is a singer songwriter who was unaware of her NVLD for many years while growing up. She describes herself as an outgoing, ambitious, advernturous person who never gives up in a world of uncertainty.
Share your own storyMy son was 10 when he was diagnosed with NVLD. He was also diagnosed with ADHD, OCD and anxiety. He is a million different emotions at one time. He currently sees two therapists and he has the ADHD, OCD and anxiety under control for the most part, but the NVLD is making it very challenging for him to interact with people and understand people. He is now 13 and it is very hard seeing “friends” stop interacting with him. He has a very hard time understanding people’s body language and has a tendency to come off strong with people which makes them turn away from him. I know there has to be other parents out there who are dealing with this so I would love some pointers to help him make healthy relationships with other young adults his age and help him understand people’s responses to him and how he plays a role in a successful friendship. I am at a huge loss and just want him to be happy.
Jennifer
I am a mother of two- one boy and one girl. I am really just trying to find some support with parents who are dealing with similar issues with their kids.
Share your own storyA huge factor of my learning disability effected my education. Many tips helped me get through my academic years and here are my top 10.
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I read many of the posts here and share in your anger and frustration over where we are in 2021. I too, have a 20 yr old daughter diagnosed at 9 yrs old with NVLD. I have submitted questions to The NVLD Project over the years and never really received any helpful information although their heart was in the right place. I have a library of books on NVLD… at least 30. They basically all say the same thing & give the same treatment options: Social Skills Groups- I agree 100% the importance of social skills training but anxiety co-exists with this disorder and I can tell you from experience the anxiety & panic these GROUPS caused my daughter was counterproductive… & try finding 1-on-1 social skills training… it doesn’t exist.
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One of the common misconceptions for those with a disability like an NVLD is that they can’t travel or enjoy special events such as Broadway shows. This is because they can struggle with over stimulation and furthermore doing these things can bring changes to their normal routines which can cause stress. The truth is, just like the academic and social challenges, there are ways to overcome these challenges which requires self developed practice and patience that both you and your family to put into practice.
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Sweaty hands, a racing heartbeat, a churning stomach and so many “what if’s” running through my mind. These were some of my thoughts and feelings when I decided to pick a college five hours away and move away from my parents for the first time in my life. I was 18 when I began college, and I decided to live in a dormitory. I selected a school away from everybody and everything I knew because I wanted to experience something new and exciting. I wanted a “new beginning” if you will, a new experience. I grew up in a small country town, and stepping into a city for the first time without my family by my side was nerve wracking. My family was very encouraging with my decision, and I’m thankful that I chose to leave for college.
Here are some tips I would like to share with other NVLDer’s who might also be moving for the first time:
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