NVLD Bloggers

Again, the issue of suicide has popped up again on the media radar. Both Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain have managed to bring it to everyone’s plate and now we get to watch as social media spins out its version of “thoughts and prayers” in the form of “reach out.” Don’t get me wrong, it’s good advice. Completely useless to someone who is currently flirting with killing themselves, but good advice. What happens, though when you add Nonverbal Learning Disorder to the mix? Are we NLD Superheroes more susceptible to suicide as someone once suggested to me? To be honest, I don’t know. All I can talk about is my own experience with suicide and suicidal ideation.
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This post is a follow-up to Katie’s first blog post.

As I come back to read these words one year later, I’m very glad to say that some elements have changed. I noticed changes even at the time it was posted, as the words were written before that, (and included a reflection that I’d worded even further before that), so no instantaneous, quick-fix solutions to report. But it’s true that time, patience and more awareness on my part, has eased how harshly NVLD seemed to limit my ability to function. A lot of the foundational struggles remain a constant. The main one being that I seem unable to focus and organize how, and when I want to. Though, as I read those words on avoiding what I love, and being unable to pursue what I am passionate about, I realize that these days, I try my hardest to do the opposite. I attempt to fill my time with people and community based projects that allow me to exist with a bit less fear.
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Few scientists have the opportunity to study their own disorder, however, that is exactly what I’m doing at the University of Southern California. I recently proposed a journal article on this diamond in the rough disability to provide intuitive cognitive models in tough spatial scenarios for NVLD individuals. Furthermore, I hope this will also reduce anxiety for NVLD test takers. Since NVLD is a small, under-diagnosed community with very few speaking on it’s behalf, I’ll give a snippet of what it’s like to live with it….
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I was diagnosed with NVLD at age 22.

At the time, I had switched programs at college – having just failed my studies in animation, where difficulties with certain aspects of the program became a final prompt to have me checked out for a possible learning disorder.

I was relieved, finally knowing what had caused so many grievances in my life both academically and non-academically; however, the timing of the news was a mixed blessing.
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Let’s start at the very beginning… a very good place to start.

So what is a learning disability? If you Google it, you will be linked to many definitions. The easiest way I know how to sum it up is an invisible disability that encompasses social, emotional, physical and fine motor challenges.
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In my experience living a successful and happy life with NVLD seems to be about finding–or creating– niches. It can be a confusing path to find them, but they exist.

I was diagnosed with having some sort of learning disorder when I was in kindergarten in the late 80s, but I wasn’t given the name nonverbal learning disorder until I went back for neurospych testing when I was 28. Growing up, academics seemed to be the focus of treatment for the condition, but I knew there was more to it. By fifth grade I seemed to have gotten academics down, except for math. I loved science (when it didn’t have math in it). But the things that I found the most challenging about NVLD were the parts that were not academic. I feel this was because no one was working with me on those things the way the did academics.
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