NVLD Bloggers

Summer 2004.

I was ten years old when I picked up a guitar for the first time. I named her Gloria. I started taking lessons months later, in fifth grade.

I wasn’t diagnosed with NVLD until I was 14. But back then, it was known that I had some struggles with my fine motor skills. After practicing guitar though, transitioning between chords soon became effortless.
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“I shouldn’t touch you too much, otherwise people might think we’re together.” I overheard somebody say that and reminded me that I have absolutely NO IDEA what it specifically means when people touch me. (Side note: is it supposed to mean anything or am I just overthinking it?) Anyways, it’s kind of an odd thing to say because people need physical contact to feel connected to each other, so why shouldn’t you touch me? Doesn’t it mean that you’ve achieved a level of comfortability around me? Isn’t that supposed to be a good thing? (Is there something you’re  trying to tell me without actually saying anything?)
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I am a 68-year-old who was diagnosed with NLD at the age of 49. The diagnosis mostly was a relief to me as it gave a coherence to a matrix of life-time cognitive, physical and social challenges. These challenges, when balanced against a desire to achieve richer social relationships and  greater career accomplishments, made for a life-time struggle with self-esteem. Only recently, have I fully realized that I have achieved quite a lot in life despite my NLD  disability.
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Turning sixteen is an important milestone for most teenagers. However, when you’re a teenager with a Non-verbal learning disability, the excitement becomes a shameful embarrassment. As soon as I turned sixteen, my parents were quick to enroll me into driver’s education. I mean, that’s what most teenagers are expected to do right ? Initially, I was excited as maybe this would finally be my chance to “be like the rest of my friends.” The fireworks and excitement quickly drifted away after my first in-car lesson.
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My name is Mathew. I was diagnosed with NVLD around second or third grade. I have always struggled with math, getting lost, athletics to a degree and also maintaining organization. This disorder has impacted me in my initial chosen careers, and also in my academic life both at the High School and Collegiate level as well.
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My entire childhood involved psychoeducational assessments, professionals, special education and tutors. At an early age, I began to recognize the weight of “indifference.” Labels and words started to stick to me, and special education paved my faith. Disability started to shape every aspect of my life. Interactions between teachers and other neurotypical peers were foreign and felt forced. I was continually an outsider looking into a world that wasn’t designed for people like me.
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The other day somebody close to me told me that they didn’t think I had a learning disability. After I got over how stunned I was hearing that, I thought about it and I actually kind of understood where they were coming from. Most people wouldn’t know that I have a learning disability because I don’t want them to see it. I’m trying my best to not stand out or draw attention to myself because if you were really paying attention then you’d see how hard it is for me and I’d rather just stay invisible. Sometimes, despite my best efforts, it feels like my struggle is very much out in the open for everyone to see, even though you don’t know what you’re watching. Read More

The hardest part about having an invisible disability is connecting with someone. Usually they don’t have the patience or understanding to get to know you. It doesn’t happen for everyone, but I was fortunate enough not only to find someone who not only accepted me as a person but also embraced me as a spouse.
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