Turning sixteen is an important milestone for most teenagers. However, when you’re a teenager with a Non-verbal learning disability, the excitement becomes a shameful embarrassment. As soon as I turned sixteen, my parents were quick to enroll me into driver’s education. I mean, that’s what most teenagers are expected to do right ? Initially, I was excited as maybe this would finally be my chance to “be like the rest of my friends.” The fireworks and excitement quickly drifted away after my first in-car lesson.
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My name is Mathew. I was diagnosed with NVLD around second or third grade. I have always struggled with math, getting lost, athletics to a degree and also maintaining organization. This disorder has impacted me in my initial chosen careers, and also in my academic life both at the High School and Collegiate level as well.
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One of the first deficits that someone with NVLD faces is in the area of social skills. It becomes noticeable as your child starts school and may be even more noticeable as each year passes. It isn’t unusual for a student with a NVLD to need help joining a group, to make friends, or just be part of the discussion.
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My entire childhood involved psychoeducational assessments, professionals, special education and tutors. At an early age, I began to recognize the weight of “indifference.” Labels and words started to stick to me, and special education paved my faith. Disability started to shape every aspect of my life. Interactions between teachers and other neurotypical peers were foreign and felt forced. I was continually an outsider looking into a world that wasn’t designed for people like me.
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The other day somebody close to me told me that they didn’t think I had a learning disability. After I got over how stunned I was hearing that, I thought about it and I actually kind of understood where they were coming from. Most people wouldn’t know that I have a learning disability because I don’t want them to see it. I’m trying my best to not stand out or draw attention to myself because if you were really paying attention then you’d see how hard it is for me and I’d rather just stay invisible. Sometimes, despite my best efforts, it feels like my struggle is very much out in the open for everyone to see, even though you don’t know what you’re watching. Read More
The hardest part about having an invisible disability is connecting with someone. Usually they don’t have the patience or understanding to get to know you. It doesn’t happen for everyone, but I was fortunate enough not only to find someone who not only accepted me as a person but also embraced me as a spouse.
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I am writing you in the hope that I can make a difference for you as you live your life through your school years. You see I was like you in so many ways when I was in school. I faced all the same challenges in and out of the classroom you are likely going through and today I am proud to say I am a young adult who overcame them. How did I do this you ask? I never gave up and neither should you.
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The college admissions scandal that occurred in March involved wealthy parents coaching their children into getting diagnosed with a learning disability so that they could receive extra time or other accommodations on the SAT or ACT. I have been frustrated because it is so difficult to put into words how angering and hurtful this is to me.
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Rapid fire. If in this moment you had only 10 seconds to choose whom you trust most in your heart, spirit and mind in this world– who would it be?
Hold on to your answer.
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Specific.
That’s the best way to describe having Nonverbal Learning Disability. To help me understand, I need you to be specific. Use your words. I need them for clarity. Why did it become awkward? Did I miss something? Understanding can take some time for me and it’s only through brute force repetition that I’ll begin to see a pattern. Sometimes it feels like going through flashcards: this is your happy face, this is what it looks like when you’re angry, that’s what it looks like when you’re feeling sad. I can’t tell how you’re feeling right now, but I know based on the situation that you’re angry with me, and just a little disappointed.
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