“A mentor is someone that allows you to see the hope inside yourself.” – Oprah Winfrey
I’m inspired and motivated to write this article to thank my K-12 educators, former supervisors and mentors as I believe it is important to recognize and thank individuals while you are able. Life can change fast and acknowledging those who have an impact on your life is so crucial.
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Growing up with a Non-Verbal Learning Disability leads to many challenges. One of the most common challenges is finding an advocate(s)/support team to help you because there is a major gap between your strengths and weaknesses along with additional social and communication challenges. Due to these deficits you may be underestimated or labeled as lazy and rude. Unfortunately due to this, the individual may send the message they just want to be on their own however the truth is in most cases they want and need an advocate.
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I’m going to be brutally honest, I hated school. I was never an A student, I was more of a D and F student. From kindergarten until grade six, I was shuffled and pushed through the educational system. In kindergarten, I was incredibly shy and lacked social skills and my report card reflected numerous comments such as, “Megan is too shy she needs to talk more which would help her make new friends.” In grade one, my teacher ridiculed me and made me feel stupid. She centered me out by placing extra large X’s on my work whenever I made a mistake and would treat me differently than my other peers. In grade 2 my anxiety crippled me causing me to miss numerous days of school at a time. At age 7, I started to self-realise I was “different” from my other friends.
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One of the services that many decline for NVLD children is speech therapy as often other challenges are more noticeable so they get addressed first. Due to their strong vocabulary and reading abilities their team believes they can go without speech services even though NVLD students often don’t have age appropriate understanding of certain words and messages. In addition,the inappropriate social and communication skills associated with NVLD many do not show up until later in the educational years. The truth is by not including speech therapy on their IEP, students with an NVLD miss out on making great strides in their communication skills.
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At the beginning of every University semester, I need to go through the awkward conversation of validating my non-verbal learning disability. This usually involves a very medicalised perspective of ticking off boxes to validate why I’m worthy of receiving certain accommodations. I’ve learned through my educational years, that I need to be my own voice and my own advocate. Unfortunately, a paper doesn’t justify enough and is just a black and white document.
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“You don’t look like you have a learning disability.” “I would never have guessed that you had a learning disability.”
The one in five individuals who have learning or attention issues, like my peers and I who serve on the Young Adult Leadership Council of the National Center for Learning Disabilities, hear these comments all too often. It’s frustrating evidence that some in society have an “image” of what individuals with learning disabilities should look like or what they should be able to accomplish.
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Growing up with an NVLD can lead to multiple challenges so understandably you have an extremely high risk for developing low self-esteem. The most common cause of low self-esteem is being misunderstood. Classmates may see your social challenges as odd, teachers raising or lowering their expectations for you, and the many other challenges are all situations that can have a negative effect on your development. They often leave you wondering why you are so different from others who have a learning disability.
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One time, I was talking in therapy about how, whenever I feel lonely, I imagine talking to someone and the conversation going perfectly. I have an idealized version of how the relationships in my life (of every kind) should turn out and replay imaginary scenes of successful social interactions in my head as a source of comfort.
When I told my therapist this, he said, “Do you think that has something to do with the NVLD?”
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To those growing up with an NVLD–
Growing up there were days I thought to myself why do I have an NVLD and my sister is gifted. So I totally understand if you are experiencing some very difficult moments. Truly the people I wrote about are only a fraction of people who be where I am today and I want you to understand “It Takes A Village To Raise A Child.”
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Think of your brain as a form of radio that aids in carrying a signal. If that radio isn’t working properly then you won’t be getting proper reception. The signal is still there but it’s just a bit fuzzy. This is an analogy for having NVLD, it doesn’t change who you are but it does change the way you process and relate to others. It has been extremely difficult throughout my life to properly convey myself.
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