One of the things that you continue to read about is how students with an NVLD and other learning disabilities are at great risk of having very low self-esteem. This is especially the case if they have more than just academic deficits. In my personal opinion, social media has made it worse, and at times, it’s the adults’ fault, which I know they don’t mean to cause hurt. So in this piece, I will list some of the examples to help make it more positive for everyone.
For example, seeing photos of their classmates with a teacher after an awards day especially appears to trigger low self-esteem. To these students, it can send the message that the teacher really only likes the students who experience impressive achievements, such as becoming the top basketball scorer or achieving a high score on the SAT. This is because they often worked incredibly hard to achieve average results, and unfortunately, they are never recognized. It hurts even more when the student in the photo really didn’t have to work that hard to be honored.
Another example is when parents post their child’s honors in too much detail, which can sound like bragging. Yet, all they are doing is celebrating their child’s successes online. For example, writing this as a caption to the photo:” I am beyond proud of my daughter for how she graduated from college with a 3.9 GPA”. She is so brilliant and works harder than anyone.” This can hurt the students with an NVLD and other learning disabilities, as many had to work hard to earn average results. It can hurt even more when you know the person was very smart and didn’t go to a college that matched their level of academics, so it isn’t a surprise they did so well. A better caption for the photo would be so nice to be with my family celebrating my daughter’s college graduation”.This way, you’re celebrating your child while still having empathy for others.
Next is how many teenagers capture their memories of high school life. For some individuals with an NVLD and other disabilities, this can really hurt, as they often want more of the experiences that many neurotypical individuals have. In addition, some do end up sending inappropriate messages to the person posting the photo because of wanting to be invited, which can cause more pain as the receiver often makes fun of their reactions. I completely understand why people post on social media, as I do too, though I also empathize with how the self-esteem of teenagers with disabilities could suffer from seeing other peers’ multiple photos. So, a suggestion I would make would be to make the posts limited to your close friends and family, as you should post your experiences, yet having empathy for others’ feelings is important too.
Another trigger for low self-esteem is that physical appearance is very important during high school. For students with disabilities that cause fine motor and spatial skills, overall appearance can be a challenge. For example, beyond washing and brushing, I can’t do my own hair, and I can’t put on makeup, so my appearance couldn’t be as strong as many of my friends. What really helped me was that I always wore “acceptable” clothes, as my parents always got us nice clothes, so overall appearance was manageable for me, but still not great. In addition some disabilities such as autism sometimes cause unique facial features, so some look different than their neurotypical peers. Teenagers don’t always understand this. Social media has certainly made this worse as they look at others’ photos and can think why I can’t look like them. It’s truly disappointing as everyone is beautiful in their own way.
I personally believe many of us tend to get too caught up with our personal successes, and that can cause others’ self-esteem to suffer. My family is guilty of this, especially regarding our college choices as attending Dean College and Georgetown University, as we were both beyond happy, and forget not everyone has this opportunity. So while I do believe low self-esteem will regrettably always be a component of an NVLD and similar disabilities, I do believe we can help it be less severe. A start would be to post fewer pictures online and to never post your GPA. There is no direct answer, but I do believe doing these two things would be a great starting point. Not everyone gets to have the same experiences, and we tend to forget that, yet you should be proud of your experiences and successes. This being said, balancing your level of feeling proud and being sensitive towards others’ feelings is so helpful.
Eileen
Eileen is a Project Social Ambassador and blogger for The NVLD Project. She loves helping others understand they can achieve their goals and dreams through hard work and dedication.
