It is very clear, based on the interactions I have had with parents who have children with disabilities, that the majority of the parents are eternally grateful for inclusion to be the norm in schools and within the communities. I feel this is especially true for families like mine that have both children with and without disabilities. However, this doesn’t prevent the disappointments of their personal journey from happening, as the reality is that inclusion can only go so far for each individual. So, in this piece, I will discuss how inclusion experiences bring many challenges and rewards.
For example, seeing others with disabilities having greater inclusion opportunities can hurt as it can be hard to understand. While many have the same learning, social, and behavioral disability, everyone will have different challenges and strengths as each disability ranges from mild to severe. I experienced this when I had to drop down to a lower level of math due to the nature of my NVLD while the three other learning disabled students in my class didn’t. The truth was that the other three’s academic deficits were primarily in reading, whereas my biggest deficit was in math. In addition, I knew a few students with Autism, and their parents became upset seeing other students with autism be able to have greater inclusion experiences than them. The truth is that the students with autism who had greater inclusion opportunities than them had grade level academic skills, so with appropriate support to help them with their difficulties like organization skills they did well in academics. When you think about it’s no different than how some honors students do all honors courses while others only do two.
Next, while full inclusion in sports has proven to be incredibly successful , disappointments can still exist. Especially for students with an NVLD and similar disabilities that cause fine and gross motor deficits as the sports where inclusion will be successful are more limited. Despite what some believe, if sports like hockey do have cuts then you can be cut just like the others without disabilities. Yet through inclusion you have the opportunity to try out with the rest. Personally I understand how disappointments can happen as I experienced them my freshman year. I watched my sister be a starter on the basketball team and thought why can’t I be included in this sport. However, I quickly realized inclusion in sports doesn’t mean you can just join any team , it means you’re given an equal opportunity to earn a spot on the team. I learned this through running distance races. witt how at every meet I saw runners with and without disabilities have meets where they didn’t run at all.
Another example that causes disappointment is how many are guided to the local community college or a work program while their non-disabled classmates are generally given multiple options. This can make the families feel they work incredibly hard for nothing. What appears to make the disappointments become even worse is when families learn from other families that they found some great possibilities via their own research. So understandingly the parents with less information became incredibly angry with their counselor and made comments to them like” the point of inclusion is to give students with disabilities equal opportunities and as a counselor you didn’t”. The catch here is that parents can only get upset with their counselor for not following inclusion recommendations when they recommend colleges to the non-disabled students that completely match their ability as the stronger students will always have more choices. Examples would be recommending Ivy League colleges for the very top , Bucknell and Boston university for the top , St Lawrence and Fordham University for the above average and places like University of Vermont and New Hampshire for the real average students.
Personally it hurt when I experienced this as my counselor hadn’t even heard of colleges with comprehensive learning disabilities support and transition programs.This was very disappointing. However I remember my sister chose Georgetown University through my Dad’s recommendation,not her counselors, and my Dad had helped many families from our town with the college process so I didn’t get upset. Therefore it’s so important to ask other parents with children without disabilities about their experience navigating the college process with the school counselors before getting upset with your’s. You may see that the two are similar and learn that the college process as a whole is your guidance department’s weakness.
Now to wrap up Part A these are just a few disappointments and in part B I will continue with more examples. It will never be perfect but I hope you understand inclusion is typically the better choice as it opens up many more doors for each child.
Eileen
Eileen is a Project Social Ambassador and blogger for The NVLD Project. She loves helping others understand they can achieve their goals and dreams through hard work and dedication.
