We’re all born a little fragile. We come into the world as a vulnerable human being unaware of our surroundings. Having NVLD makes me a little more sensitive and hyperaware of the world around me. Growing up as a young child, I was continually criticized for being too “sensitive” which in turn exposed me to raw vulnerability.
I was bullied for being “different” and I was continually struggling to find my place in the world. Being vulnerable means being exposed to various experiences that can instill a sense of trauma. Growing up with a label attached to your name created a series of unfortunate events as I call them. I was naïve and trusted people far too easily, I wore my heart on my sleeve which often left me broken hearted and I was a giver to those who didn’t deserve my worth.
This created a pattern of behaviors, I seemed to attract people who would later on betray me or use me to only take advantage of me. As I started blossoming in my 20’s, I became intuitively more aware of who was worth my energy and who wasn’t. Tapping into and learning about your complex and often sensitive vulnerabilities are a fragile game of hide and seek. You hide the most sensitive parts of who you are, to try to fit in with the rest of the world. You seek to normalize and try to validate and accept the inner workings of NVLD and sit in vulnerability.
Unintentionally our childhood traumas of growing up as “different” become the blueprint for adulthood and map out connections, community relationships and people. We become awakened by a sense of controlled normalcy. We become hardwired externally through ableist ideals and expectations. To stray away from such expectations and to live life vulnerably with NVLD is to show a brave appreciation for who you are.
Having a soft heart, but a beautiful mind is a privilege. It’s ok to lean into your vulnerability and be seen. I was inspired to write this blog post after watching a Brene Brown documentary on Netflix. I highly encourage everyone with NVLD to watch it! You will really learn so much more about yourself and what it means to be “vulnerable.” I’ll end with a quote from Brene Brown, “You either walk inside your story and own it, or you stand outside your story and hustle for your worthiness.”
Each and every one of us with NVLD are vulnerable. But that also means we’re capable of tapping into our deepest vulnerabilities, and sharing who we are with the world.
Megan
I’m a graduate of the Child & Youth Worker program from Cambrian College and I’m pursuing my degree in Disability Studies at Ryerson University along with a certificate in Aboriginal Knowledges & Experiences. I am a Project Social Ambassador for The NVLD Project.
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