Have you ever had the awareness that you misunderstood a situation, in hindsight?
After 66 years of lived experience with non-verbal learning disability, selective mutism, and autism, I know what it is like to misunderstand and be misunderstood.
First lesson: My lens on the world has always been different, from the majority viewpoint, so my perspective gets shaken up frequently by others. I have a right brain lens on the world. So creativity and imagination happen in abundance, as does being more impulsive, and impacted by my emotions and the environment. This may irritate others who value logical reasoning, and sequential thinking. Similar arguments may happen over organisation, and time management, as these traits are weaker in individuals who lead with the right brain. Growth happens when each individual appreciates the strengths of themselves and the other person. It is relevant today as a bridge is required to plug the gap between both perspectives on the world.
Perhaps you have begun to think that you are different in some way. Have you ever wondered if you were normal? It is common for individuals who process information differently to ask this question. Yet comparison creates envy, shame or blame. It is better to feel strong in your own unique strengths and to remember that everyone has weaknesses and a shadow. Your learning comes from the darkest moments when you perceive all hope is gone. This is not true. The light remains, but at times appears hidden.
Let me take you back to 1974. It’s a Saturday morning in March. The teenager is asked to return from her Saturday job, to help her grandmother. She promises to do so. When she gets home to a council bungalow, she finds her grandmother on the floor. She is unable to arouse her. She learns hours later in the hospital that a fatal stroke has occurred. The teenager calls her boyfriend and he immediately comes over to help her, puts a few personal belongings in his van, and takes her to his parent’s home. The next day they go back to the hospital and are told that Grannie is not going to recover. This has catastrophic consequences for teenagers. That teenager is me, and this is one of many moments that I write about in blogs, ebooks, and books.
The change. Fed up with living in my past, and relaying stories that supported my belief that I didn’t have a right to exist, I wanted to change. I wanted more than survival, I wanted success, love, and recognition. I lay on the floor and turned myself around 180 degrees. And I began to look for practices that gave me the tools to thrive. And become the best version of myself. I began to release the social conditioning that had constrained me for 47 years. And I became the director of my own destiny. I created a legacy called Autism Family Dynamics to build. So despite events of abuse, rape, gaslighting, and self-doubt, I can still be of intrinsic value to the world and can be a bridge for families impacted by a nonverbal learning disability, mutism, and autism.
Sue
Sue Bayley is internationally known for her guidance and consulting. Her 5 guidance practices are: Spiritual, Life Purpose, Body IQ, Creative Mastery and Embodied Relational Therapy. For 24 years she worked with the hardest-to-help families, where she was listened to and respected. She lived for 47 years not knowing she herself was neurodiverse, although she always felt different.
Her desire to share her story led her to the plenary sessions within the House of Lords in 2019. She also shared her intentions and message in the UK, Europe and USA.
