You are my rock, my foundation, and my anchor as I navigate through the anxiety of meeting someone new for the first time. You are the ones I have chosen to see for me, because sometimes it feels like my vision is blurry and I need to you to bring it into clearer focus so I can see things as they were intended. If you trust them, then it’s likely that I’m going to as well because I trust your judgement and also that you are capable of knowing who’s good for you in your life and in turn who is good for me. When that happens, it really speeds up my process of getting to know someone so I can feel more comfortable and keep the awkwardness to a minimum. It’s one of the few times I feel like I’m keeping up with you regular human beings. If I have to go at my own pace or without your assistance, it can lead people to believe that I’m not interested in talking to them because part of my process is just observing them from a distance so I can make a note in my head of the way their face looks when they’re talking to someone they like. This is important because I don’t read facial expressions very well on my own, unless you’re talking at the same time and sometimes I’m not very good with tone of voice and I can be downright awful at deciphering the games that people play and recognizing someone’s hidden agenda. I’m looking to you and trying to see through your eyes to cover up my deficiencies and also because I want to be sure we’re on the same page. You don’t know this and you probably never will- you’ll just accuse me of being too shy, and you’ll definitely unknowingly answer a question or two I had in my head, but I believe in my process because I’ve only had once instance in my entire life where I stopped talking to somebody whom I considered a friend. It will be my decision to keep them, but it was through your eyes I got to know them.
Nicholas
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