Growing up with only one sibling who excelled in everything was both difficult and highly rewarding. So in this piece, I will share the positives and negatives. As deep down I know, in the end, it gave me a much brighter future.
For example, right away, I decided to stay in sports despite having gross motor skills deficits. This was a surprise to many as most thought based on my deficits I needed to do the manager route. However, by attending my sister’s athletic events, I understood if I wasn’t in sports I would miss out on so much. This led me to challenge myself, and at times I did think the doubters were right. Fortunately I learned rather quickly that by being in athletics, you can meet great friends and mentors. What was special about this was that both me and my sister I received multiple awards during our athletic careers and without wanting to keep with her I wouldn’t have had these very positive experiences.
Next example I was inspired to work incredibly hard academically by seeing my sister do her homework every night. This led me to never accept the lesser academic path as I could see how important it is to challenge yourself academically. As a result, I only took the lowest level of math and Applied Chemistry rather than the Regents level. Yes, I couldn’t take any Advanced Placement level courses like her, but the both of us always challenged ourselves academically. If I didn’t have her as a model, I wouldn’t have achieved as much academically. In addition, it led me to take academic courses through graduation, which was unusual for students like me. This was a surprise to many, but I knew that modeling my older sister would give me a brighter future.
Another example was having the confidence to attend the Eagle Hill School during my high school summers. Yes, I was rather nervous at first and didn’t quite understand why I was doing this, as my support team had concerns about my doubts about being away from my parents. However, my sister’s encouragement gave me the courage and confidence to trust my parents’ decision. It turned out that it was the right decision as I grew personally, academically, and socially, which led to others seeing the true me. Being a school for learning disabled students, I truly had remarkable support, and within less than a week, I loved it there.
Next is how her success played an important role in my attending college away from home, where I had a tremendous experience. Each school that I looked at had the highest level of support, and in the end, I chose Dean College. At Dean, students like myself experienced remarkable success due to all the support they received. Without watching my sister succeed in all parts of school life, I wouldn’t have this opportunity, as I wouldn’t have taken the needed courses to be accepted and the ability to live away from home. Attending Dean resulted in my experiencing tremendous success, considering the nature of my NVLD. Whereas if I had attended the local SUNY, like the majority of the other learning disabled students, I likely would have dropped out.
Now, the negatives of this were that at first, some adults saw me as stubborn and rude. This was triggered when I said no to most of the initial recommendations given to me, as I wanted to challenge myself both academically and personally. Another negative was that my self-esteem was often very low at times, as I had to work incredibly hard for very average to low average results. This made me a challenging student at times for those around me, but the truth was, I wanted to keep up with my gifted sister as much as I could. Fortunately, though, my support team eventually understood my high goals and went the extra mile to help me achieve them. My college choices were the hardest to understand; however, by succeeding in the previous situations, they understood I was never going to take the easy way out, and they supported me.
Overall, having a gifted sister gave me the drive to overcome my NVlD as I wanted to keep up with her as much as I could. I know too that if I didn’t have this drive, my life would have been very lonely. So if you are in this situation, my advice is to be determined to do many of the same things as your gifted sibling (s), but always understand that your achievements will be different, as expecting too much is what triggers lower self-esteem. It will truly give you a brighter future, and you will see how much you can really do.
