Exactly 1 year ago, I was diagnosed with NVLD at 26 years old. When the clinician called me to discuss the results and confirmed I had NVLD, I cried, since my teen years and college (especially the latter, where I especially struggled socially due to lack of structure and burnout) would’ve been less isolating and stressful with an appropriate diagnosis.
The writing was on the wall in high school, where I struggled with a math learning disability and bad anxiety. As a teen and in college, I’d tell my peers I had anxiety, especially social anxiety, since I feared confessing to having neurodivergence would get me shunned. Struggles with self-esteem due to bullying, as well as being told I was “impossible to get along with”, “difficult”, “rigid”, “dumb”, and “lazy” made me assume others disliked me unless they deliberately reached out to me. Years of therapy helped me realize these were maladaptive coping mechanisms. In college, I made the mistake of going home every weekend. At first, this was because of a terrible roommate match my first year, when I was sleep-deprived. Despite getting a single my second year for medical reasons, I continued going home on weekends since I felt no one on campus liked me.
I studied abroad in Madrid despite many people discouraging me, thinking that if I was struggling on campus to the point that staying on weekends felt unbearable, things would be worse in another country. I thrived and enjoyed the independence of a large city. However, if I knew I’d graduate into a global pandemic, I would not have become resigned so quickly, choosing to focus only on academics, since putting myself out there felt like a lost cause.
I lived and worked abroad after college and have a Master’s degree. I still struggle with shyness and warming up to new people. Although it’s harder after a certain age, I’ve been actively trying to expand my social circles. I am grateful to have found the NVLD Project and hope to help raise awareness.
Paola
I am 27 years old, from NY, and was only diagnosed with NVLD at 26. Despite all the social, emotional, and academic obstacles I’ve faced at a young age, thanks to supportive family and perseverance, I’ve managed to overcome 100% of the rough patches so far. I am grateful to have found the NVLD Project and am hoping to find a supportive community. I hope to make people feel less alone and to be someone my younger self would look up to. My passions include travel, music, writing, reading, and exploring new cultures. I am currently writing my first novel.
