A majority of my life, I felt cursed. I wanted to desperately snap my fingers and rewire my brain to normal. I continuously dragged around my NVLD like baggage, knowing something was wrong with me. I despised being different and I struggled to fit in. I hopelessly prayed for a miracle; that my NVLD might magically vanish as I grew up.
I continually felt like an outsider, looking into a world that was not designed for people like me. I felt isolated, alone, and so different. It was not until I was 20 that I started to tap into my spirituality and embrace my Christian roots as a way to “find myself.” I started going to church, reading the Bible, and embracing psalms and passages. Nourishing my spirituality is what instilled a feeling of hope and assurance that maybe having NVLD was a unique gift from God. I started to strengthen my faith and cling to an unseen anchor that reassured me that I was not alone.
I feel that being a Christian with NVLD has made it possible for me to embrace these rare gifts that God has given me. We don’t always understand why something happens in life, but maybe that’s the beauty of being born with NVLD. Having NVLD has empowered me to start my own business and support youth with learning disabilities. I also consider myself to be a gifted writer, as having NVLD has allowed me to express myself in a unique way. God works in mischievous ways, and I believe NVLD is an exceptional example of his work. I spent my time searching the crevices of my soul trying to understand the jagged pieces of my NVLD brain, when God had made an intentional masterpiece.
I understand that religion is a sensitive area and that not everyone has the same common beliefs and that is all right! However, I needed something to believe in and embracing a personal connection to my faith allowed me to grow as a person and softened me to be more humble and kind.
One of my favourite psalms is Corinthians 5:7, “For we live by faith and not by sight.” Maybe it comes merely by knowing and trusting that NVLD came with a reasonable purpose and a reason beyond our control.
