I was officially diagnosed with NVLD at age 8 after my parents were divorced. My mom tended to over dramatize everything-it still isn’t clear if it was for her need of attention or if it was out of misplaced concern. She didn’t explain the diagnosis to me-in fact Until i graduated from college. I was never told that I had NVLD, just taken to physical therapy for a while and was told the word “disability.” (At 22 Iw as handed the “diagnosis sheet” but struggled to interpret it.) That is it.
I spent the rest of my entire childhood and adolescence fighting the diagnosis of having a “disability.” I didn’t accept any accommodations at school, I failed most of elementary school (due in part to NVLD and in sort to have absent parents) but did my best to adapt on my own. My written communication skills and vocabulary were above average. It brought me needed attention from adults, but made me stand out among friends. As a result, I continued to write but in casual conversation I with peers I simplified my vocabulary. I had early verbal skills, but lacked coordination or good depth perception. Sports didn’t come easily yet I fought hard to play both tennis and volleyball even making the varsity tennis team for two years. I did my best to try to understand others. I was often talking and not sure how to perceives skills on when to stop. I would talk and talk in hopes that it would somehow bring me more understanding of a certain situation-it rarely did. I compensated fairly well by “playing a long” and relying on my deep observation skills/putting a lot of emphasis upon my more natural ability to perceive emotional and social motivations of others.
At thirty years old, I have recently become frustrated with my struggle with flexibility and adaptation. It tends to take me longer to adjust to schedule changes, rearranged rooms, or moving from one role at work to another. I have to pay close attention to my movements or I drop and break things very easily. I often get told that I am a good verbal communicator and an excellent written communicator. I struggle greatly still with needing to be told things directly, thinking in black and white turns, and needing rigidity for my day to day life. I often have to verbally process in order to understand and problem solve. I was diagnosed with OCD several years ago which had made it even more difficult to untangle things. Becoming frustrated with not knowing how to perceive my husband’s needs without him verbalizing them and struggling with social cues. I recently looked up NVLD. This isn’t something that I have really done before. The basic list of characteristics described me to a tee. I was shocked. I hate labels. I work in the recovery “Industry” with adolescents who have been over labeled, over diagnoses, over medicated and saturated with therapy. It has taught me that labels can be very dangerous, however, reading those characteristics of NVLD actually helped me to better understand myself and lessen my frustration with myself. I am not sure where to go from here, but at least I now have a foundation of better understanding to build upon.
Marie
I am thirty years old. I have been an educator, worked in childcare, church ministry, and currently work in the social work/recovery field with teens. I have been married to my husband for 6 years . I still “talk too much” and astound others with my clumsiness but I am pushing through. I love to read, write, and tend to our animals. I enjoy learning new languages, spending time with my husband and seeing our garden grow each year. I am not sure what the future holds, but I am thankful that I can trust the one who holds it.
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