I have always felt like Alice in Wonderland. Living with a Non-Verbal Learning Disability (NVLD) often feels like walking through a world that was never designed with me in mind. Society operates on rigid, ableist expectations, and rules that assume everyone processes information, time, and social cues in the same way.
One moment, everything feels familiar and manageable. The next, I find myself tumbling headfirst into confusion, uncertainty, and overwhelm. Much like Alice falling down the rabbit hole, I didn’t choose this world yet I must learn how to survive in it.
For much of my life, I tried desperately to fit into a system that was never built for people like me. Over time, I came to realize that the problem was not me, it was the environment. Living with NVLD often means constantly trying to keep pace in a world that moves too fast, expects too much, and offers little accommodation.
Time, in particular, feels elusive. I struggle with deadlines, appointments, and rigid schedules. It often feels as though I am chasing something I can never quite catch. The exhaustion that comes from constantly trying to “keep up” is overwhelming mentally, emotionally, and physically.
Down the Rabbit Hole – Sensory and Social Overwhelm
When Alice enters Wonderland, she finds herself in a place where the rules make no sense. This mirrors the experience of living with NVLD. Everyday interactions often feel like mismatched puzzle pieces that never quite fit together.
Sarcasm, jokes, and implied meanings frequently go over my head. What comes naturally to neurotypical individuals can feel like an entirely different language to me. Like Alice, I often find myself confused by conversations that seem effortless to everyone else.
To survive socially, I mask. I nod, smile, and pretend to understand, even when I don’t. Conversations can feel like a performance, one where I’m constantly guessing what the correct response should be. This mental effort is exhausting and often leaves me overwhelmed and disconnected.
“Eat Me / Drink Me” – Misjudging Situations
Throughout Alice in Wonderland, Alice struggles to regulate her size, growing too big or too small because she cannot determine the correct amount to consume. This mirrors my experience with NVLD in many ways.
I often misjudge time, distance, and expectations. Tasks may take longer than anticipated, or I may underestimate how overwhelming a situation will be. This shows up most clearly in travel, academics, and daily planning.
Emotionally, I can also feel “too much.” I am deeply empathetic and sensitive, and like Alice, I sometimes react more strongly than intended. NVLD can feel like an emotional rollercoaster where social cues are unclear and reactions feel intensified. It often feels like navigating life blindfolded, unsure of what’s coming next.
The Mad Hatter’s Tea Party – Navigating Social Rules
The Mad Hatter’s tea party represents the chaos of unspoken social rules. Everyone seems to know what to do except Alice.
This mirrors how I feel in social settings such as family gatherings or group events. Conversations move quickly, small talk feels draining, and expectations are rarely stated clearly. By the end, my social battery is completely depleted.
Navigating social spaces as someone with NVLD often feels like being an uninvited guest at a party where everyone else was given the rulebook except me.
The Cheshire Cat – Misleading Cues
The Cheshire Cat, with its cryptic smiles and disappearing acts, represents the confusion of neurotypical communication. Facial expressions, tone, and body language often contradict one another, making interpretation incredibly difficult.
For neurodivergent individuals, these mixed signals can feel like being handed a map written in a language we don’t understand. We’re expected to follow directions that were never clearly given, then blamed when we get lost.
The Queen of Hearts – Fear of Mistakes and Emotional Regulation
The Queen of Hearts reminds me of teachers and authority figures who responded harshly to mistakes. Her explosive reactions mirror the way neurodivergent students are often punished for thinking differently.
Like Alice, I learned to fear making mistakes. The education system rewards conformity, speed, and rigid thinking leaving little room for neurodivergent learners. Over time, this leads to anxiety, self-doubt, and a constant fear of getting things wrong.
Living with NVLD often means second-guessing yourself, even when you’re capable and intelligent simply because your brain works differently.
The Talking Flowers – Misinterpreted Social Interactions
The talking flowers judge Alice, speak in riddles, and leave her feeling out of place. This reflects the isolation many neurodivergent people experience.
Social exclusion is often subtle a tone shift, a joke you weren’t meant to understand, or being left out without explanation. Like Alice, I’m left confused and questioning what I did wrong.
Finding genuine connection as a neurodivergent person can be difficult, but when it happens, it is deeply meaningful. Understanding and acceptance make all the difference.
Living with NVLD is like navigating Wonderland without a map. The rules are unclear, the expectations are rigid, and the consequences for misunderstanding are often harsh. But like Alice, I continue forward with learning, adapting, and growing.
My story, like hers, is not one of failure, but of resilience.
And perhaps the real lesson of Wonderland is this:
The world isn’t strange because we are different it’s strange because it refuses to make room for difference.<
Megan
I’m a graduate of the Child & Youth Worker program from Cambrian College and recently graduated with a degree in Disability Studies at Ryerson University along with a certificate in Aboriginal Knowledges & Experiences. I am a Project Social Ambassador for The NVLD Project.
